The cruel truth of life

I filmed this personal documentary in a residence facility for the elderly, the headmaster of which was my grandmother.

Anja is a filmmaker and photographer; working as a freelancer and for the European Commission’s DG DEVCO

When she got ill, my grandmother insisted on staying there for her ‘last years’ and my mother decided to stay there as well, to take care of her. 'Bon'.

It was painful for both of them, but I can imagine it was a little more so for my mother, as she started seeing her own parent, this strong figure that she had looked up to her whole life, now become weaker and weaker. Initially I started filming with the aim of presenting three generations of women, but then my grandmother died during the shooting.

“‘Bon’. I thought ‘Hmm, what am I going to do with this movie now?’”

It was not the story that I wanted to tell but it was very powerful, even more than I had envisioned. Not the death of my grandmother, that being; no, that was sad. My mother’s response and her emotional reaction was what I found powerful : how she handled the situation with strength. The initial message behind the movie was the circle of life and in a sense the message came across well, although in an unexpected way.

“And it goes on. That is the cruel truth of life.”

My mother took over my grandmother’s role as headmaster of the residence, which is shown at the end of the movie and portrays the succession of things. In a way this was a also a feminist film, because it showed the extent of women’s strength. In the end, my mother realised that age does affect the people you love and when they get older, they do lose their abilities and strengths. And it goes on. That is the cruel truth of life.